Bringing a new baby into the world is one of life’s most precious things. And yes while there is so much excitement and joy in meeting your sweet baby, many mothers quickly realize that postpartum life is way more complex and difficult than the moments that are often shared online through social media and other platforms.
The time after giving birth, known as the postpartum period, is a time of enormous physical, emotional, and heavy mental adjusting. Each day your newborn is learning how to navigate this world he or she was brought into and you are trying to learn how to navigate a completely new version of yourself. For many, the days and weeks after giving birth can feel beyond overwhelming, bleak, exhausting, and very isolating.
If you’re right smack in the thick of postpartum recovery just know that you’re not alone. The struggles you may be experiencing are way more common than you might think.
The Physical Recovery Can Be VERY Challenging
Recovery can be HARD. Many new mothers are taken aback by how long it can take to recover after giving birth. Doesn’t matter if you had a vaginal delivery or a cesarean section, your body has gone through a major life event and needs the necessary time to recover.
Some physical challenges can include:
* Exhaustion and sleep deprivation
* Soreness and heavy discomfort
* Healing from stitches or surgery
* Hormonal changes (VERY COMMON)
* Breastfeeding challenges
* Night sweats or chills
* Hair loss
While most of the attention is put to caring for a new baby, many mothers of newborns find themselves struggling with their own recovery and not realizing that they need to prioritize how they’re feeling. Giving birth is a crazy life event and It can feel very frustrating when your body doesn’t immediately feel like your own again. The recovery process takes time and we need to make sure we are being easy on ourselves and getting the care we need.
Sleep Deprivation Is a Different Kind of Exhaustion
Most people will tell you how tired you’ll be with a newborn, but the actual experience of it firsthand is something entirely different.
Newborns typically will wake every couple of hours to eat (some maybe even sooner) and many parents find themselves having to function on very little to no sleep. The constant routine of feeding, diaper changes, soothing, and trying to rest between all the wake-ups can quickly make life very overwhelming.
Sleep deprivation affects more than just energy levels. It can severely impact mood, concentration, memory, and your emotional well-being. Even simple daily tasks can feel difficult when you’re running on very little rest. It’s easier said than done to try and prioritize rest but moms need to be able to function. Take advantage of those family members and friends who want to help.
The Emotional Roller Coaster Is Real and Rocky
After giving birth, hormone levels shift and change. Combined with physical recovery and basically no sleep, it’s no surprise that emotions can feel all over the place.
Many mothers experience:
* Unexpected crying bouts
* Irritability
* Anxiety
* Feelings of being overwhelmed
* Mood swings
* Self-doubt
These are VERY common during the weeks after delivery. If feelings of sadness, anxiety, or depression become intense or keep going, it is very important to contact a healthcare provider as you might need to be seen and treated. Postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety are medical conditions that NEED support and treatment. You are not alone in any of these feelings and there are ways to help deal with all these feelings. Do not hesitate to ask for help!
The “Enjoy Every Moment” Pressure
One of the most difficult parts of life after having a baby can be the pressure to feel grateful and happy every second of every day.
Some phrases you might hear:
* “These are the best days of your life.”
* “Enjoy every moment.”
- “You’ll miss this someday.”
- “It passes in the blink of an eye”
While the people saying these comments often mean well they can make many mothers feel guilt when the struggle is real. Most people just think this is what you’re supposed to say but most don’t realize that it can make some feel a certain way about themselves.
The truth is that you can deeply love and care for your new baby and still find this postpartum life ridiculously hard.
You can be grateful and exhausted.
You can feel joy and frustration.
You can love your baby and still miss your old routines and life.
These emotions can all exist together and that’s ok!
YOUR Identity Changes
One of the least discussed postpartum struggles is your shift in identity that comes with being a mom.
All of a sudden ALL of your day revolves around caring for a tiny human who needs you constantly. Life activities that once probably felt simple like meeting a friend for coffee, exercising, running errands, or even taking a shower can need significant planning.
Many moms find themselves wondering:
* Who am I now?
* Will I ever feel like myself again?
* How do I balance being a mom with the rest of my life?
These questions are completely normal and are asked by a majority of women who become moms. Motherhood changes you, but it doesn’t have to erase who you are.
The Toll of Loneliness
Sometimes even when surrounded by family and friends, those postpartum feelings can make you feel lonely.
Days at home, new schedules, recovery, and limited social interaction can leave many new moms feeling very disconnected with the outside world. Social media can sometimes make this worse because it creates unrealistic expectations of what motherhood “should” look like not what it ACTUALLY looks like. This goes for when your kids continue to grow and being a mom shifts even more.
Just remember that most people are sharing bits and pieces of what they want others to see, not the actual difficult moments they struggle with behind closed doors. It would be more helpful if others shared the actual struggles as it might help others see they are not alone.
Try connecting with other moms, join local parenting groups, or simply talk openly about your experiences – this can make a tremendous difference with how you see things and how you feel.
Why These Days Matter Even When They’re Hard
This postpartum period is often described as a complete blur. The days can feel so incredibly long while somehow passing by in a blink of an eye.
Many parents are very surprised by how quickly their tiny newborn begins to change. Those sleepy stretches, tiny fingers, flaky skin, and curled-up poses disappear super fast.
This is one big reason many families choose to document this part of life through newborn photography. It’s not because this time in your life is perfect it’s because of how meaningful it is.
In the years to come you’ll remember both the awesomeness and the challenges of this time. The images become a reminder of not only how tiny your sweet baby once was, but also of the strength it took to get through those early days.
Be Easy on YOU
If you’re currently going through the postpartum season try and give yourself permission to know that you are not perfect and that’s ok!
The laundry can wait.
The dishes can wait.
The thank-you cards can wait.
Your healing matters.
Your mental health matters.
Your rest matters.
YOU MATTER!
Being a mom isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about showing up, one day at a time, for both your baby and yourself especially.
This postpartum journey can be incredibly messy, emotional, exhausting, and incredibly beautiful all at once. No matter what your experience looks like, you deserve support, compassion, and grace as you try and navigate this chapter in your life that changes everything.
And one day, when the fog begins to lift, you’ll realize just how strong you truly were.
**A little update to this blog for anyone who might be in need of some encouragement and postpartum support on Long Island:
If you are struggling with all things postpartum I highly suggest trying out Beyond Motherhood Long Island – Peer support helping women “navigate post party depression, baby blues and the emotional journey of new motherhood”. Beyond Motherhood was “founded by a Physician Assistant and a physician partnership that believes every mother deserves a safe place”. Located in Bayshore, NY.
www.beyondmotherhoodli.org
Instagram: @beyondmotherhood_li
